Memories Of Guavas ...

I think Guavas are my favourite fruit. Huh? Ok, this is what any writer faces. Go straight into the narrative and the audience has no idea where the author is coming, or how they are coming, too. Go too slow, and you have a set of yawning readers. While i wouldnt want you yawning (except under a hangover, in which case too, i think a guava would be just right), a little bit of background may be required.

Travelling from Dehradun to Delhi, one would go to Haridwar. While a dip wasn't really happening, given that there was very little water, as they were cleaning the Ghats, the guavas on the fruit-vendor's cart seemed most inviting, and hence this. As a child i have found the guava to be one of my favourite fruits, along with the musk-melon ... Kharbooza. Not just about any, but the kharboozas which used to come from Baghpat ... Large, succulent, sweet ... Sinful. Regrettably those aren't to be found in the market during summers. Which is why i am thankful that the large, ripe (yellow in colour, not green), soft, sweet guavas are still available aplenty.

Now to the background ...

As a child, i remember walks with my grandfather, to the fruit bazaar. Fruits, you see, were the invariable dessert of choice. Pity i didn't inherit this, though i am discovering this trait post the blood-test, which had doomsayers predicting dire consequences from diabetes. I remember the way Dadaji used to look for fruit which was a little ruptured (kharboozas get ruptured as they ripen, which means that ruptured fruit is sweeter and more succulent, more often than not). Another way of finding, of course, is sniffing. A well-trained nose is almost an infallible way to find whether fruit would be sweet. Glad to believe i have inherited the nose.

Dadaji in his trademark shorts (this was the 80s, but Dadaji always rocked), t-shirt, and shoes, me holding his hand, or riding sitting on the cross-bar of the bicycle. Exhilarating! But getting back to the guavas, i dont think too highly of them. Huh? Somehow, Amrood sounds far more delicious. Of course, amrood used to coincide with gobhi-shalgam ka achaar, and the absence of ghia, tori, tinde, much to my relief. But thats not the reason i love the amrood.

Granted, i love amrood as a fruit. But more so because of memories. Memories of cold winter mornings sitting on the terrace, on the manji, amrood and mathematics. Now, i can imagine you trying to picture me part of a looney bin, but mathematics was actually my favourite subject, much to the detriment of my performance in other subjects. Preparing for IIT-JEE, the amrood was one of my companions. Especially because it was it was at times stolen (for no particular reason), and at times, was shared with Dadaji. This also gave me pictures of children in other, seemingly diverse parts of the country being hounded by their parents to study subjects which they found unsavoury, while being comforted by their grandparents with amrood. Now this might sound a little silly, but growing up in the 80s, one wasnt too aware of the way things are in other parts of the country, and i am not talking about general knowledge. So, somehow, we used to believe that boys from the southern, western, or eastern parts of the country (i am not going to talk about stereotypes ... They have been long discarded, so maybe on another occasion, when i am writing something comical) were all good, hardworking, conscientious students, and that it was only boys from Delhi, Punjab, or Haryana who were the lafangas. After all, haven't we all heard the refrain ...

Padhoge, likhoge hoge kharaab,

kheloge, koodoge banoge nawab!

Experience hasnt really shaken this idea. But the primary reason is still Dadaji.

Dead, Or Alive?

There is a very interesting article that ToI has run on the front page. This article is about a rare heart operation. While i dont know details, and even if i did, i wouldnt have been able to understand them. But i am not writing about my ignorance. I dont have to, its quite well known.

So what am i writing about? This surgical procedure which is rare, for a heart condition which is rare, too. Though thats not what i am writing about. What i am thinking about is what the state of suspended animation means. What the article says is that the patient was put in a state of suspended animation. What that meant, according to the article, is that the patient was put in a state where the brain wasnt functioning. In other words, the patient was in a state where the body was not functioning. Not that it wasnt functioning normally, it just wasnt functioning.

While this aspect is quite understood with respect to micro-organisms (high school biology will tell you thatif you freeze food, the micro-organisms get frozen too ... The thaw brings them back to the realm of activity), apart from the biological aspect, this opens up interesting lines of thought. What is the difference, for example, between someone who is in suspended, and someone who is dead? If both states are about the bodily functions stopping, one temporary, another permanent, how does one know, when in the middle, whether it is temporary or permanent?

Exploring this further, if theres no way to make out, in the middle of it, whether this is a temporary or permanent state, then what is it that makes it temporary, or permanent? Obviously, there must be some component the absence of which makes this permanent state. What, then, is this component? It cant be biological. Which implies that we have not yet completely understood the structure of human existence. This isnt something a lot of people would disagree with. Since that is so, we seem to be on the right track.

So what makes the difference between suspended animation and death? Let me ask another question to illustrate what i am thinking. Is the difference between suspended animation and death the same as the difference between the living and the dead? And i am not even talking about the subject of awareness. Thats another complex aspect which i will write about later. I think it is. While i may be oversimplifying, one is either in this world or not. If we say that as long as one is on this world, they are alive, then the rest follows from there. Now, why would we say that? If we appreciate the fact that death is irreversible, we can, from there, lead to the idea that one cannot come back from the state of death. But one can come back from the state of suspended animation, so this is definitely not equivalent to death. Which, in our binary scenario, is equivalent to being alive. This would mean the presence of consciousness in the state of suspended animation, and this, i believe, is what distinguishes between one and the other, between whether its temporary or permanent. Any thoughts, please do comment.

Education Changes ...

The HRD ministry is trying to change the way children are educated in India. And they seem to be well up to the task. One of the changes is the movement from marks-based evaluation to a system of grading. Like most initiatives which Government of India runs, this one too finds some who believe this is not the right thing to do. Then, of course, there are those who think this was long due. If you have a child with a little less than a decade to go for this stage of education, you really aren't a stakeholder in this debate for reasons other than academic.


And thats why what i am writing is from the perspective of someone who, while not being a teacher, has been working within the realm of training for some time. And this is where my thoughts about this topics come from. Though, another perspective which so many of us could have is that of ex-students.

So, what am i writing? Not much new, really, for finer minds have dwelt on the subject on a number of television channels and newspapers, except that, without going into the debate of which board is better (i know of only CBSE, so wont be able to comment on ICSE or IB), i would like to look at the question of where this would take the competetiveness of children. There is fear expressed that examinations like the Xth and XIIth boards generate the spirit of competition among children, which enables them to compete. While to an extent i agree, i also believe that this spirit of competition probably doesnt have much to do with board examinations. Do we find children facing the pressure of competition only when it comes to the board examinations? Look around and you wont think so. Class tests in junior school can do that, too. Whats worse is that these examinations raise the spirit of competition among parents much more than in children.

What am i referring to? Its quite simple, actually. Most of us parents tend to forget that children are individuals, in addition to being our children. And this leads us to a scenario where we either try ot live our dreams through our children, or we believe ''baap ka naam raushan karega'' ... The child will illuminate the name of the father (in other words, make Papa proud). This, though, raises the question that if father wasnt able to illuminate his name, how will the child do so? Here, i am not being sexist, and using the male gender only for the sake of brevity, so please feel free to make adjustments for gender, because this kind of parental pressure is not restricted only to fathers. This is not to say that i dont indulge from time to time, but the point is, i would rather try to check this indulgence, rather than trying to get my son to relive my childhood. He cant ... We played kanche, gulli danda, pitthoo, smoked Phantom cigarettes (for the uninitiated, these are sticks made of sugar, made to look like cigarettes). So i think i am ok with the childhood i had, and am content with the childhood my son is having. Dont you think the childhood we had was different from that of our parents?

But i am digressing, even though this took you down memory lane (including the two cashewnuts with the rasgulla between them ... No, you dont get anything for guessing this). So whats the point i am writing about? If by now, after a walk down memory lane at Darya Ganj, and nearby parts of Delhi, i remember correct what i was planning to write about is the reason why i agree with the idea of grades.

If we look at it objectively, the idea behind educating children is to make sure they learn to understand and appreciate the world around them (not necessarily teach them everything about it ... That would be impossible, as undesirable, too), to help them grow into well-rounded adults (round is not geometrically), and to enable them to embark on a journey of acquiring skills (if not acquiring the skills themselves) which can enable them to lead productive lives. Rather a lengthy one, but thought would be nice to look into the different lines that occured to me. But if we work backwards from there, the reasoning that we can take can be that the idea of education is to enable children to acquire skills, maybe to acquire skills in a better way than other children, but definitely not to remember some data which they neither understand, nor appreciate. Brings to mind an old Hindi song ...

Sikandar ne Porus se ki thi ladaai,
Jo ki thi ladaai, to main kya karoon?

Translated, if King Porus fought Alexander what should i do about it? This obviously means that children are not learning the lessons from history. But coming back to the main point, the idea of the educational systemis to teach children the things they are to learn, not just to figure out which child has learnt more than which other child. Sure, thats one of the things, too, but that cant be the cornerstone of the system, and this is something which can be achieved with grades, and a system of qualitative evaluation, because one number cannot determine how well the child has learnt (learning is far more comprehensive than can be imprinted in one number), and the emphasis on this number is, at times, at the cost of learning.

However, this change along wont help take the educational system in the country to the next level of understanding. Whats the other component, you may ask. And that, i believe, is the inclusion of parents in this change. This change could degenerate into a clamour for grades instead of marks, and this defeats the entire purpose of the change. Rather, parents need to understand that the system we were educated in (quite good, actually, but a shade outdated ... How many of my contemporaries actually remember Bernoulli's Principle, and some applications to real life, or how many of us can actually remember the formula for integrating any trigonometric function, and why one would do that. Lets please exclude those who actually do this professionally ... They would remember. Now, the point is, if we dont even remember some basic things, then what was the point of having our vocation in life based on how well we could remember these formulae? Would it not have been more productive to have focused on understanding these concepts well? This is the point we as parents need to understand, though believe, coming from the background that we do, it wont be an easy transition, and this is where schools need to play an important role.

Actions, Reactions

Something happened this morning ... nothing unusual, but it got me thinking on quite unusual lines. Unusual lines for me, would probably be usual lines for quite a few. If you drive in this part of the world, you are quite used to people driving all over the road, basically treating the entire road as one large lane (actually, these are few, but not unusual). This becomes more so when it rains (and its been raining heavily, which is a relief given the absence of the rains for the last few months) because under the water, nobody knows where the old potholes are, and where the newly created ones would be. Which means that driving can be a guessing game. Now, add to this someone cutting you off on the road, and it can be quite irritating. Yes, i know ... you know the feeling, dont you?

Well, this morning someone did that. And it affected me. But then, i got thinking ... what is impacting me. What is the nature of his action and my reaction. Or, for that matter, my action, and someone's reaction? And i found myself reacting in a way which is quite unusual for me. I was no longer irritated. I was thinking (yes, somewhat unusual for me, but even so ...). So, what was i thinking? Simple ... Was what he did inherently irritating by nature? Is anything anyone does carrying a particular human emotion attached to it? I believe it carries the vibrations of the person who is doing it, but apart from that, things we do are emotion-neutral. Emotions are caused by the way we see those things, and are the cause for how we react.

Take this example. Someone is driving and cuts someone off. No inherent emotions associated with this. Where emotions do come in is the way i reacted to what he did. I could have just shrugged it off, or i could have been irritated, or angry. Which means, that by attaching our emotions to the things someone else does, we are creating we are bringing feelings to the action-reaction equation. The colour of the action (irritating colour superimposed on what he did) is something which i brought, not he. Which means that the light of things being nice, nasty, funny, sweet, or anything else, is brought to the scenario by the perception of the receiver. Which has implications for us humans. By not associating negative colours with things which we see, we can actually change the impact those things have on us. In other words, we can choose the way we react to something, and this choice is something which decides the impact that action has on us, which we express in the form of reaction.

Principles Of Economics

Have you ever been to a restaurant? And not been able to figure out how it is that no matter when you go, you always have to wait? Or, been travelling and tried to find out why your suitcase is almost always among the last to emerge? Well, this is a little one about collective thinking ... And, in my incomparable style, i will try to link it to some principles.

At the office, we have the canteen. This is the place where we all go for Lunch. Now, lunch-time is usually from 1:00 pm, but then, you could go there before or after. Depends how hungry you are (which is why you would usually find me there at 12:30 pm).There used to be a time when the canteen would be empty at 12:30 pm, and you would get a nice place to sit and eat. This is actually how i started going for lunch at 12:30 pm. The peak crowd would be at around 1:30 pm, which is when most people would go to eat. However, over a period of time, for some reason, more and more people would come to eat at 12:30 pm, so that you wouldnt find a place to sit. This went on for some time, till recently, again, the crowd at 12:30 pm has dwindled, and more and more people go to eat at 1:30 pm.

The way i see it ... some folks got the bright idea, that you could beat the rush if you went an hour before the majority of the crowd went to eat. Thing is, a lot of people got the same idea, which is why a large part of the crowd switched from 1:30 pm to 12:30 pm. However, as more and more people got this idea, the canteen got overcrowded. Till, over a period of time, some folks got the brilliant idea that one could beat the rush by going there an hour later. And, soon, many of the folks got the same idea, and ...

Now, by now you are wondering what this has to do with economics. Just this ... this is probably the same logic by which prices in markets are regulated ... if prices are too low, so many people would buy, that prices would be pushed up, and pushed to a point where they would overshoot the equilibrium, till a point when a number of people realize that prices are too high, when they would stop buying, bringing prices down, to a point that they become too low.

Is this reasoning logical? All comments welcome!

A Story About Recession

This is not original, but the story strikes a chord somewhere.

This story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Burgers by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of Burgers.


He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more and more raw material and buns and sold more. He recruited more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home -deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from college, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV. He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic. He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs. Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his Burger stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly and so did the profit. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right". "We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

And this is a question we must pause and ask ... are we talking ourselves into economic recession? Is it, in some way, becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? I am not an economist, but i feel that maybe ... just maybe ... and this is not to say everything is hunky-dory with the economy ... we are creating the economic scenario by talking ourselves into it? True, sentiment is bearish, but somehow, the bad news makes front-page news, while the good news you must look for, and consider a job well-done if you actually manage to find it. In other words, just as there was a bubble of unrealistic expectations, are we seeing an opposite phenomenon, again made of unrealistic expectations?

(I)IT-BHU

I am writing about a topic which is close to my heart ... though thats not the only reason i am writing about this. Over the last few years, there has been heightened interest in replicating the model of excellence as represented by the IIT's on a much larger scale, increasing India's competitive positioning in terms of highly skilled manpower, when it comes to engineering. As a part of this, there is the process of creating new IIT's across the nation. This is indeed a laudable effort, and should, over a period of time, contribute to a large extent to creating greater levels of technology excellence in the nation.

There is, however, one institute which is in the lurch, when it comes to being IIT. This is the Institute of Technology - Banaras Hindu University, lovingly known as IT-BHU. Before i proceed, let me tell you that i studied there, so please keep that in mind when reading this piece further. When i went to college, the number of IIT's was 5. There were the IIT's at Kanpur, Kharagpur, Delhi, Bombay, and Madras. However, the hallowed IIT-JEE was an exam which enabled you entrance to these five IIT's, and to the IT-BHU. As such, from the input perspective, the IT-BHU was quite at the same level as the IIT's. Now, to the process of converting raw schoolkids to engineers ... the college is one of the oldest in the country (founded in 1919 ... Prof. Charles King was the first Principal of the college, although then it was in a different form, Minin and Metallurgy still not being a part of a single engineering college), and as such, has a tradition of educational excellence. Add to this the legacy of a university founded by the Mahamana (my Grandfather used to tell me that Mahamana used to be referred to as Silver-Tongued), and which has seen such illustrious and learned men as Dr. Radhakrishnan at the helm of affairs.

With a legacy as brilliant as this, and a faculty which is considered amongst some of the best in the nation, if not the world, the process for converting schoolkids into engineers is among the best in the nation. Coming to the conversion process ... the process of converting schoolkids into engineers ... the input to the institute comes through the IIT-JEE ... the premier entrance exam. So, the quality of students who study at IT-BHU is comparable to the IIT's. The education given is world-class, with a standardized curriculum, and faculty which is among the best in the world. Hence, the output is comparable in terms of quality to the IIT's. With a legacy like this, and education which is of the standard of IIT's, it is only reasonable to place IT-BHU at par with the IIT's.

What is interesting is this ... There was a Press Release announcing the conversion of IT-BHU to IIT. And what is even more interesting is that somewhere down the way, this decision was reversed. Wouldnt it be logical to convert a college, which already has the standard, in terms of input, conversion, and output, of an IIT, into one? An interesting article i found about this ...

Hockey India ...

Recently, there is a tournament which is going on which is notable for its being ignored by the media in a big way. Of course, it has to be, given that India is touring Sri Lanka, but having said that, there were quite a few large things which happened.

The tournament i am writing about is the Punjab Gold Cup ... being played at Chandigarh. This is a four-nation tournament ... Hosts India, playing New Zealand (who are featuring in the tournament, courtesy some lunatics who attacked Mumbai on 26/11, and seem to be the minnows of the tournament), Holland (a formidable team, no matter which way you look at it), and Germany (world champions, olympics champions, champions trophy holders ... the best team in the world today). Quite a mean achievement, isnt it? It is, especially when you read the scorelines.

India beat New Zealand 2-1, India drew with Holland 4-4, thanks to 3 goals in 5 minutes, and India stunned Germany 2-0. Which is wonderful, or at least, is a wonderful indicator of the way Indian hockey could take. Having said that, what i find even more interesting is the fact that which channel was showing these matches was one of the best kept secrets of Indian media. The other evening, i was looking forward to the India-Germany fixture, and i surfed all the channels, but couldnt find the channel which was telecasting this match. So, either no channel was showing this match, or whichever channel was showing this match, were very successful in keeping it a secret. Shhhhh ... dont tell anyone we actually showed a hockey match.

Whats even more interesting? The fact that most news channels just have a 1 minute, blink-and-you-will-miss-it coverage of the matches. Whats still more interesting is that there is far more airtime being given to off-the-field goings-on, than to on-the-field hockey. Somehow, the media seems to be allergic to highlight the highs of Indian hockey, but there seems to be a lot of coverage, and opinions, about the off-the-field goings-on in Indian hockey. One would wish they would just do justice to the national sport.

Competing ...

A rather interesting one about creating a knowledge-sharing company ... who can pass reading something with this kind of title? Which is why i changed the title to my post ... Well, the story told about GIant Eagle is quite informative.

This points out to an interesting thing ... most organizations do not have the policies and incentives to have people collaborate with each other. In fact, i like the way Russ Ross puts it ...

Now they’re competing in the marketplace of ideas.

And this is the basic difference. On the one hand, you have what some people call the "scarcity" mentality ... which is about scarcity of things going around. Which means that if there are two people, there is no way both of them can get what they need, there is some trade-off that needs to be made, and in the process of making this trade-off, either of them, or both, have to give up something they want. In fact, this is one of the basic assumptions classical economics is based upon, and this is something we have grown up with. The other is what people call the "abundance" mentality ... which is about their being enough for everyone's needs. As Mahatma Gandhi said, that there is enough for meet humanity's needs, not greed.

The question is, which mentality you subscribe to. In the knowledge sphere, of course, the "abundance" mentality seems more apt, but its not really possible to get people to actually move from one to the other with different contexts. Having said this, there is the whole idea of how an organizations can build up the environment to enable people to think abundance. This is not too difficult to do, actually ... what this requires is transparency, and removal of a threat perception ... though, as humans, we somehow find this is difficult to do.

Train Journey ... Bangalore - Chennai

A new experience altogether ... Or so it seems. This comes to you from the top berth of the Mysore-Chennai (beautiful pitcure of Chennai Central) Kaveri Express. I had thought this would be the opening line except that it would have been coming to you from the platform. But just as I was thinking of writing, the train arrived and no matter its almost midnight, the arrival of a train at any major junction in India can cause the buzzing of the beehive of activity astir. And this was no exception.

To cut a long story short, between reorienting myself, deciphering the bogie number printed on the ticket (in the absence of the charts they used to stick), hauling myself onto the train, navigating my way through the crowded aisle, and managing to perch myself on the top berth thanks to some pretty amazing gymnastics, I couldn't start writing till I was lying down on the berth, which by the way, I am hoping is meant for me tonight.

To start the story, let me inform you that I didn't intend to write about this journey. After all, this is just another train journey. I have had more luxurious ones (AC IÌ class), and a whole host of adventurous journeys, usually eithout reservation, whether it be from Varanasi to Delhi, or Lucknow to Berhampur, or Varanasi to Nagpur. But going to Bangalore City Junction, trying to locate the platform number for the train, in the face of a General Enquiry window totally devoid of human habitation (by the way, they have some slick touch-screen technology which can do this for you), hauling myself, laptop, and suitcase to the platform, trying to decipher the mystery of two trains ... Chennai Express and Kaveri Express, and the entire set of activities which I told you about earlier, and most important ... Unravelling the disorientation ... I thought that I must write about this. Besides, of course, the general din of people sleeping might render any thoughts of sleeping ineffective (though I am going to try), so I might as well write.

The usual smell that you find in almost any railway station was around, though what was missing were the vendors selling kulhars of garam-garam Chai ... Extra strong, extra sweet ... Just the way you like it. What was the surprise element was the disorientation. I felt like I was doing this for the first time. That I wouldn't, in all probability, not achieve what I had set out for ... To catch the train. Getting to the platform seemed to be an enormous task, and the entire set of activities culminating in me hoisting myself onto the berth seemed daunting. And this makes me think ... There was a time when I wouldn't think twice about it. It was almost second nature. And that's when I realized ... This is the first time in over a decade that I am going on a train journey. Coming to the disorientation ... It was comprehensive. I felt as though I didn't even know how to board the train, much less take the journey.

Ah ... The romance of the train! Taken away by the the tinted film on the window-panes, which, by the way, you can't open. And they effectively segregate you from the journey.

By the way, its morning, and I slept well ... Which is a relevation. Earlier, when I would travel bt train, I somehow wouldn't get sleep ... Or maybe, it had something to do with the way I used to travel. And I am reminded of a saying ...

Chaar aane ki Murgi, Baarah Aane ka Masala!

In other words, the Chicken costing less than the Masala used for cooking ... You would ask what brings that on. Delay of two and half hours for a five hour journey. But maybe I shouldn't be complaining ... Had the train been on time, I wouldn't have slept so well. Rather, I would have overslept.

Belonging To ...

The Orlov Trotter has been immortalized by Count Lev Tolstoy, in the short story titled Kholstomer. This is, indeed, a wonderful story ... reflecting on some of the events that happened, and at the same time, a reflection on the rationale behind some of the things people do ... like the treatment of Kholstomer at the hands of people ... from a celebrated descendant of Smetanka, to the gelding it died.

Why am i writing about this? There are a few reasons ... One, the chord the story touches. For its amazing description of Russian society as it looked then, to the attitudes of people, which only someone with the genius of Count Tolstoy can depict. Another, probably larger reason, is one part of the story, which goes somewhat like ...

The mistake he made was to think of me belonging to him. Human beings believe that others belong to them, which is not true. We after all belong only to God, and to ourselves.

Something to that effect ... i am sure something would have gotten lost in the translation, and not knowing Russian myself, i would prefer to let someone better than me at the translation (which is a lot of people, i must say!) dwell on the details of the passage. All i would like to write about is the idea ... that we belong only to God, and to ourselves. We do not belong to anything or anyone else in this world. That such a belonging, while being obvious, is only temporary, and must go away. So it would only stand to reason that all belonging must be only to the soul, and to the Supreme Soul ...

Interesting ... especially if we try to understand what this could imply.

Some Thoughts ...

They say that when people are low, they can be cheered up by two things ... humour, and sex. For the latter, this is not the right place to look (hey, i am sure you already know where to look ...), and as far as the former goes, here's a glossary of some of the terms from everyday use, redefined by the current financial crisis ... not original, though ...

CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

Broker: What the broker made you

Standard and Poor: Your life, in a nutshell

Stock Analyst: The idiot who downgraded your stock

Yahoo: The exclamation when you sell it at $240

Windows: What the sucker who bought it at $240 jumps out of

Institutional Investor: Last year's investor who's now either in the nuthouse, or busy expatriating funds from India (a nut, any which ways)

Profit: An archaic word no longer in use

On a rather less humorous note ... something which i havent been able to figure out ... not rationally, at the least ... why is it that when the Dow Jones drops by 1%, the Sensex (with or without the Saas and Bahu), drops by 10%? Whats the amplifying all about? How is it that the fundamentals of companies have changed overnight, so much so, that a lot of companies lost 75% of their market capitalization? Or is it just that everyone is going by what their neighbour (and his uncle) is doing?

ToI ran an article today, about Hapur investors making hay in the market mayhem ... a must-read for anybody who thinks he's smarter that his neighbour (or his uncle). This very nice article goes to show that Hapur knows much more about Finance than Wall Street does ... and, another thing ... that common-sense makes more sense than most of the smartest folks around. Way to go ...

Sitting In The Lawn ...

Sitting out in the lawn ... Something you wouldn't even think of during the summer months, and something which you wouldn't get the opportunity for during the monsoons ... Is something which is a very attractive scenario during certain parts of the year. When you find sitting in the lawn on a late morning (preferably having gotten up early, which is quite a wonderful thing to do if you ask me, though I don't do much of it myself) something pleasant, then you also know that autumn is here, and winter is just round the corner.


This is something I have seen a lot of folks do. I have my Grandfather sitting out at his vantage point where he could catch the maximum sunlight ... Reading the newspaper. Unless he was discussing politics with his friends ... Otherwise, they could have been discussing grandchildren (quite unlikely ... That was more Grandma's domain). That was the time of the mohalla ... When Grandpa would sit on his favourite chair, along with his friends ... On another part of the street we (the boys) would be playing Kanche, Gilli Danda, Lattoo, or as we grew up, Cricket ...

This was the scene in the mornings ... Wonderful mornings, when the vacations were on, and thanks to Grandpa, Mom couldn't bully me into completing my homework before going out to play. Homework was something which could be done on the last day of the holidays, which is something my son has definitely inherited from me.

Grandmas wouldn’t be found there just yet, as Lunch had to be cooked, and the street would be a heady mix of aromas ... Aaloo Gobhi, Matar Paneer, Paalak da Saag,and of course ... Saron da Saag, Maanh di Daal, or Aaloo Methi, the Paraanthaas (there was Aaloo, Gobhi, Methi, Mooli and more …), and of course ... The ubiquitous Gobhi Shalgam da Achaar. And for those of us who managed to get entangled in Mom's clutches, there would the inevitable Saron de tel (or Badaam Rogan, though this was usually reserved for the kids ... You see, we were grown up ... All of seven?) di maalish.

Lunch, and as one of the protagonists in Malgudi would say ... It is only the tribe of boys who cannot or would not sleep in the afternoon ... And Grandma gets some time to gossip. This, however, is accompanied by some frenetic activities ... The clatter if needles as they dash around knitting something or the other ... The count of loops being kept under their breath ... Or the tweezers plying themselves with all of Grandma's enthusiasm to make the delicacy for the kids, peeling the skin off those hapless Kharboozaa seeds, which once skinned, would find their way into the Sooji da Halwa (believe me, these are an acquired taste).

So, the next time someone asks me, I am going to tell them that sitting in the lawn on a late autumn morning reminds me of Kharbooze de beej ... And let them figure out the rest.

For, when the warm sunshine feels soothing, and the breeze tickles your senses, and she dances, waving her supple fingers in the sunshine, winter cannot be far away. And when winter isn't far away, would these memories be far away.

The Destination ... Or Cars!

I was talking to my Sister in Law the other day ... Being the elder one, i was trying to be the "in the know" guy, dishing out pearls of wisdom, otherwise known as gyaan to anyone who liked to listen ... So, i was asking her what she wants to do in her career. She has some ideas, and i was trying to encourage her to ask the standard questions ... where do you want to see yourself ten years down the line?


When she was able to give me a vague answer to this one, i prodded on ... little knowing i was prodding on to stuff even i didnt understand. So, i asked her where she sees herself twenty years down the line, and then thirty. And, then, at retirement. And then it struck me. Whats this all about? When we are in the rat race, is there a specific destination which we can achieve, and rest on it? Not at all. In fact, the destination for all is the same ... departure. So, why run faster, when all of us are going to reach the same place? Rather, shouldnt we treat life just as a journey of sight-seeing, without any specific destination in mind? Not only would it remove a lot of heartburn, it would also help us see life for what she is ... Beautiful!

Whereas today, we treat life basically as a set of events, tied up with a set of targets, which we achieve, and then move on to the next set of achievements. But, life is to be lived, isnt it? Whats the point of achieving life, when we fail to live it?
 
This reminds me of one of those movies which touch you ... one which you want to see again, and yet again! And, then, few more times, primarily because the big fella loves it! Yes, we are talking about one of the hits of last (?) year ... Cars! Ya, you guessed it ... Lightning McQueen (he rocks, doesnt he?), and Sally (so not fair, there's no wikipedia page for Sally). What about the movie, you might ask. Interesting dialogue ... The point where Sally is telling Lightning the story of Radiator Springs (those of you who arent understanding what i am talking about, watch the movie ... you wont regret it!) ...
 
Back then, cars didnt drive to make good time, they drove to have a good time!
 
The journey and destination distinction ...

Relativity Of Time ...

I am not sure what I am writing about … the only thing I am sure about is what I am thinking. And this is always the way it is, right? Don’t we say … we can always say more than we can write, and we can always think more than we can say. Well … my thoughts on KM aside, this one is not about work … not that the last few have been, actually.

I am reading a book these days titled In the Shadow of the Great Game … a book about the untold story behind India’s partition. Ok, so if you are going to be politically correct, you might want to refer to this as the partition of the sub-continent. But this event was too big, the impact so catastrophic, and the lessons to be learnt so massive, that I would much rather not delve into politics on this issue. This apart from the fact that this is so close to my heart …

But this is not what I am writing about. While reading this book, there is a part which talks about conjecture about the shape of global politics in 1960, as seen in 1945. And the timeline got me thinking … I have heard a lot of stories about India … especially pre-Independence India … about Lahore, Amritsar, Delhi, Calcutta, Bombay, Madras, Karachi, Peshawar, Srinagar … a picture which almost seems alien in today’s geo-political situation in the world. My grandfather used to tell me stories … stories about a time which seems so far away.

Coming to the point, the stories he used to tell about the time in India between the two world-wars (this, incidentally, was the time he grew up in Lahore) relate the instances of life … a life less ordinary, and yet ordinary in its extraordinariness for someone from that slice of time, from that part of history, and of geography.

But that’s again not the point I am trying to make. The point I am trying to make is this … those approximately 40 years of the last century seem to be a small interval in time, while, if I were to think about the next forty years, those would seem far longer. And this makes me think … something I had heard quite some time back … about past perfect, present tense, future imperfect! Not really true, but this is something that keeps cropping up in the minds of people. But the fact is, the past seems to have flown by so quickly, while the future doesn’t seem as if it would oblige the same way. And this is where the relative nature of time comes in.

Though, of course, when it comes to memories, the past can sustain … the past lingers, forever and ever, in our memories, in our thoughts … the past, in its fleeting moment of presence seems to have engendered eternities.